If your divorce attorney needs information about your marriage, it is important to communicate that information, even if you find it embarrassing. You are not mandated to disclose any information, but if you withhold information from your attorney, then he or she cannot adequately counsel you or prepare your case based upon that necessary information. Attorneys who practice family law hear a lot of intimate information about clients and their families. Although the information is deeply personal to you, it is unlikely that anything you tell your lawyer will be a shock.
Although you may feel uncomfortable, your attorney must have complete information to fully protect your interests. If speaking directly about these facts still seems too hard, consider writing them in a letter to your attorney.
Your attorney has an ethical duty to maintain confidentiality. Past events in your marriage are matters that your lawyer is obligated to keep private. Your attorney can disclose information only if you authorize her to do so.