Written by Debra Schoenberg
October 7, 2019
Marriage is a beautiful union until things turn sour. Marriage takes a lot of work, and sometimes things don’t go as planned and you find yourself going down a bumpy road of separation from your spouse. The divorce process is a complicated and stressful situation, and it changes the lives of everyone involved. Not only do you have to deal with the legal and financial aspects it implicates, but you also have to deal with the reality that your marriage is ending and that your life will change forever. It’s important to remember that divorce doesn’t mean life ends, it’s the beginning of a new chapter. Knowing how to cope with divorce can help the process be more civil and peaceful for both parties.
If you have children, then chances are you’ll probably be dealing with your former spouse until your children turn eighteen, and you’ll likely continue seeing them at major events like graduations, birthdays and weddings. An important tip is to try and remain as amicable as possible during your divorce to keep things peaceful. Try not to talk down on each other to your children, friends, or family. Your spouse will hear about it, and it will only delay your ability to resolve your divorce and move on. If you have put together a custody plan for your children, your spouse will be less likely to negotiate reasonably with you if you are constantly harassing them. Divorces can be very emotional and you may have the urge to lash out at times, but try to remember that there is life after divorce. Avoid doing things that are destructive to your relationships with your spouse and with their family. It can be very stressful and it might even be difficult to remain amicable, but you can manage by approaching it with the right attitude.
Managing finances during divorce can complicate the process even more so if the divorce is related to a distressing financial situation. Dealing with finances can be difficult, but a divorce can make it far more complex. By establishing a plan and relying on professional help where necessary, you can ensure your best possible financial outcome during this time. Getting legal and financial advice from a lawyer and a trusted financial professional is recommended to help you through your situation with the most effective and beneficial advice.
The last tip on preparing for a divorce is to stay focused on the big picture. The decisions you’ll need to make during the divorce process will affect you and your children for years to come, so it’s in the best interest of both parties to try and remain as amicable as possible over the right or wrong. Nobody wins in a divorce, but focusing on the kids and your future will give you a better shot of not only divorcing on good terms but achieving a settlement or custody plan that you feel comfortable with.
It’s important to remember that no matter how isolated you may feel, you are not alone. There are many resources of divorce support that can help you through the ups and downs you’ll experience and they will help you learn how to deal with them healthily and constructively. By better preparing yourself, you can control your emotions to prepare yourself for the emotional turmoil that will ensue, and knowing what to expect can help you approach the situation with a level head.