Launched a decade ago as a subscription social media platform where digital creators could directly monetize their content, OnlyFans (OF) became known primarily as a hub for adult content – especially during Covid lockdowns, when it ballooned from 20 million to 120 million users. Today OF has 240 million users, and its 2 million creators are diverse: chefs and fitness influencers, sex workers and professional adult entertainment stars, stay-at-home parents and mainstream celebrities. Some celebrities use it to share non-explicit, behind-the-scenes type content and for direct engagement with their fan base, but the vast majority of material on the platform is sexual, and in internet parlance, NSFW (Not Safe For Work).
Explicit photos and videos, obviously, are nothing new. But OnlyFans changed the landscape of adult entertainment for creators and consumers alike, democratizing it on both sides. It took power away from studios and distributors and allowed anyone, amateur or professional, to create paid content – and reap 80% of its revenue. It also added personal connection: rather than watching anonymous performers in generic films, for example, “fans” (subscribers) can engage directly with the creators they follow, and even request the type of material they want – creating an almost unprecedented level of perceived intimacy.
And, of course, it’s all available 24-7, anywhere and everywhere, through our devices.
As one study put it, “OnlyFans is unique due to its position between digital sex work and social media and its high degree of cultural assimilation.”
Can navigating this new world of up-close-and-personal, interactive, mature virtual content cause tension for couples – on either side of the paywall?
Relationally, financially, and legally, OnlyFans has created many new gray areas. If you’re in a marriage or domestic partnership where one (or both) spouses is (or might be) an OnlyFans creator or subscriber, here are some things you should know.
A 2023 survey of 335 men and 383 women, ages 18-71, found that OF subscribers were 63% male, and 89% married. 59% identified as heterosexual and 37% as bi- or pansexual.
For couples on both the creator and subscriber sides, the platform raises new questions surrounding trust, fidelity, boundaries, and attitudes about sexually explicit material and sex work: Is this new form of adult media consumption fundamentally different than passive porn watching? Does its interactive, two-way street nature make it more akin to cheating? Does the direct exchange of money affect how we frame it? Is one partner – creator or consumer, earner or spender – using OF openly… or in secret? Does that matter? How does engaging with this particular form of erotic material align with a couple’s implicit or explicit agreements about such things? And, crucially, do they both have the same understanding?
In California, a no-fault state, these issues don’t influence your legal ability to get a divorce – but they could impact the dynamics of your relationship, and even the decision whether to stay together.
And although OF content creators and consumers face some of the same questions vis-à-vis their relationships, their opposite positions on the platform also raise different issues.
Fans
Although OF is still relatively new, some studies have already specifically investigated its consumption-side effects on marriage. Some research suggests a net positive influence on the sex lives of subscribers, who say it’s helped them become more open and exploratory in their practices, preferences, relationships, and identity. Other studies have found, more generally, that engagement with sexually explicit material (SEM) “may contribute to lower levels of sexual satisfaction, commitment, and communication as well as higher rates of infidelity among couples.”
Researchers point out that “These mixed findings may suggest that the association between SEM usage and sexual satisfaction among couples may vary based on patterns of use, as well as attitudes toward viewing SEM.”
It’s worth noting that even a cursory search of online communities like Reddit opens an almost endless rabbit hole – hundreds upon hundreds of heartfelt (sometimes heartbroken) questions and heated discussions about whether OF crosses a relational line, violates a boundary.
Creators
First, there is the obvious, simple but legitimate question of how a romantic partner might feel if they know about their partner making erotic content and sharing it with paying customers.
As one counselor explains it, “The question for people entering or considering these relationships is not whether this is acceptable in some abstract sense but whether it is something you can genuinely be comfortable with rather than tolerating under pressure.”
Partners in this situation have to consider not only emotions and partnership dynamics, but logistical questions about the work itself, and the lines between personal and professional. “If any of these feel genuinely unresolvable, that is important information about compatibility rather than a character flaw in either person.”
It’s also important to know that experts warn that OnlyFans creators face risks related to privacy, security, and sex work stigma, as well as emotional burnout from the exposure and constant interaction – all of which could have ripple effects in their relationships.
From a legal perspective, like other types of online content creators, OF earners (and spouses of earners) should be aware that, in addition to the income it generates, the digital assets (content library, subscriber base, pending payments, brand identity) related to an OF account can increase the complexity of property division in a divorce. These financial issues can be significantly compounded if there’s secrecy surrounding a spouse’s OF presence.
It’s also possible, even in a no-fault state, that due to the enduring stigmatization of sex work, during divorce, an angry spouse could try to weaponize their ex’s OF presence to tarnish their character in, for example, a custody dispute.
How you deal with OnlyFans within your marriage is your business – deeply personal and unique to each couple. If it’s causing conflict, consider seeking therapy together. But if OF use is a factor in your divorce, you need a skilled attorney experienced in navigating the complex and evolving issues raised by modern technology, social media, and digital assets. The veteran and tech-savvy family law specialists at SFLG are here to help.
By Debra Schoenberg
