Q & A: How do I cope with stress during the divorce process?

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Regardless of whether you married a few months ago, a few years ago, or have been together for decades, you meant it when you said, “I do.” Like most people getting married, you planned to be in a happy relationship for life. You did not expect to get divorced.

Life brings change, notwithstanding your intentions when you entered into your marriage. This is an inevitable reality. People change, circumstances change, and goals and desires change. For whatever reason, change has affected you and your relationship, and you now find yourself considering divorce. The emotions associated with the ending of your marriage often run from one extreme to another. You may feel relief and a sense of readiness to move on with your life, without the person you selected as your partner. You may feel, in addition to or instead of relief, emotions that are quite painful: anger, fear, sorrow, a deep sense of loss or failure, perceived inadequacy, worry over an uncertain future. These feelings are natural to the human condition, and you should not attempt to disregard your emotions as you go through the divorce process.

It is essential for you to find support, so you can cope with all the strong emotions you will inevitably feel as you go through the dissolution process. Reaching out to your support network is important– talk to friends, family, or your therapist about your emotions and your divorce. Your attorney will counsel you through the divorce process, but do not attempt to use your attorney in place of your support network. Your attorney is not trained to provide you the type of counseling you need to deal with stress in divorce, and you will incur unnecessary attorney fees if you look to your attorney for anything other than legal counsel.

That said, having a clear understanding of the divorce process, and what to expect as you work with your attorney to navigate through that process, can help you better manage your emotions. It can help you understand your rights and obligations, reduce acrimony when you learn what the law prescribes, and make better decisions as you deal with your spouse, your children, and your emotions. Also, understanding the divorce process can give you the knowledge necessary to begin to see a future outside of your marital or domestic partner relationship. You are best served to use your support network and search inside yourself, to clarify your intentions and goals for the future.

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Schoenberg Family Law Group, P.C., recognizes that family law matters involve complex, sensitive issues that can have a lasting impact on you, your family, your finances and your future.

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Los Angeles and San Francisco Daily Journal
American Jurist Institute Top 10 Attorneys 2017
2022 Client Satisfaction American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
100 Fastest-Growing Private Companies In the Bay Area San Francisco Business Times
10 Best Female Attorneys 2017 American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
San Francisco Bay Area's Best and Brightest Companies to Work For Winner 2021
2018 Best Lawyers Best Law Firms U.S. News & World Report
California Board of Legal Specialization (CBLS) State Bar of California
2020 Client Champion Debra R. Schoenberg
San Francisco Business Times Corporate Philanthropy Awards 2019
Expertise Best Divorce Lawyers in Concord 2020
2018 Expertise Best Divorce Lawyers in San Francisco
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National Board of Trial Advocacy
2017 Parents' Press Best of The Bay
San Francisco Business Times
Rated By Super Lawyers Debra R. Schoenberg
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San Francisco Business Times Corporate Philanthropy Awards & Summit
American Jurist Institute Top 10 Attorneys of 2018
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